When we see people on the screen, social media platforms, TV, or read about them in newspapers and magazines with their success stories told or written, we long to be like them.
We want to see ourselves achieve their kind of success.
Nothing bad with that.
However, the full stories are NOT ALWAYS told or written.
The behind the scene stories are hidden away from our very eyes.
We forget, or it doesn’t even come to our consciousness the battles they fought or are fighting even right while we were reading their stories.
Today, I heard one of those ‘behind-the-scenes’ stories at Global Leadership Summit #GLSJos.
I have read about her. I know the position she occupies high up there in the most popular social media networking sites.
She looks strong, ‘every-thing-is-good-for-her’, and rich (because she works in one of the richest company on the face of the earth).
Well, that is how it always seems. But she couldn’t go through life without having a piece of the life’s viscisitudes: the death of her husband in a gym while they were away on vacation was the punch of life that almost knocked her out.
I am talking about Sheryl Sandberg, the Chief Operating Officer of Facebook.
Grief can’t be fully expressed in the pages of a book or piece of a write up. Grief is experienced and lived.
How do we handle life when it dips it’s cold hand into our all-put-together dreams and life?
How much resilience do you have?
Rather how can you build your resilience for shocks, unprepared for eventualities of life?
1. Be open for support from (safe) friends.
With the prevalence of social media and also the competitive nature of our world now where everybody competes for visibility and social importance, it can be hard to get SAFE friends to confide in. But, there are STILL few safe friends to share life hurts and bruises with.
2. Grieve, but there is a time for everything.
Time to weep. Time to laugh. Time to break down. Etc. But don’t grieve beyond the time of grieving. You will know it if you pay attention to the instinctive timer within you and signs around you.
3. It can be worse than this.
One thing a safe friend candidly told Sheryl when she felt has world had ended was, “It could had been worse than this. What if your husband was driving with your two kids and he had the heart attack he had? It could had been worse than this.”
In other words, VENT your emotions.
At moment like that, people will try to stop you from doing that. They will appease you. They will plead with you.
That won’t really help. Those emotions will get all BOTTLED IN Sometime, somewhere, someplace, they will all get inflamed within you. And the outcome will be more disastrous and life threatening.
Naturally, we are beings of emotions and we need to get to a point to ask and find out the purpose of emotions.
What are the roles of emotions in our lives.
What do you think?
5. Journal, if you can.
Writing down our thoughts is one way of unbottling pent up emotions.
Journaling is really a personal (private), and confidential way of expressing the pains we are going through.
Later in life THE LESSONS from those experiences come in handy to help us and others.
6. Never be alone.
Don’t. Remember that always. Never walk the path of pains and hurts alone. It is more painful. And it can lead to fatal end.
When going through pains and hurts, majority of people wants to hide away from everyone.
It gets worse that way.
And we should also be there for people who are grieving or hurting. It lessens the burden and the pains.
When you are not in sight of anybody, you can go to dangerous ends.
7. Look to God.
I have come to realise that we can come to the end of our strengths and wisdom. It does!
When you get to that point, sometime, friends, colleagues, and family members can’t even help.
The last resort will have to be God.
We don’t pray for such, but ANYTHING can happen in life.
What will you now do?
Life is still a STRETCH of road ahead of you and me.
We can live through pains, hurts, disasters, disappointments, rejections, or stop living and get sucked out by life.
Those are the options.
Which one will you rather choose?